My Tears They Stain The Parchment
by Calli Maxwell
Summary: My oneshot dedicated to Fred Weasley, may you rest in peace. Told through the POV of my character. Love it or Hate it, but always review!


**My oneshot dedicated to Fred Weasley! I wrote it the day after I finished the 7th book and I'm pretty proud of it, I must admit! I hope you enjoy it and, even if you don't, drop me a review!**

**Disclaimer: All rights reserved to the Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling, excluding Gwendolyn Peirce, who belongs to me**

**Warning: Charactet Death**

**To Fred Weasley**

**My Favorite Character**

**R.I.P**

With a final swing of my honey-colored wings, I tranformed back into a human and landed with a soft _thud_ on the floor at the entrance to the Great Hall. Dread whelled in my chest as I took a few steps foreward to stand beside Harry, who's attention was focused on the Weasly family. I brushed his hand with mine, keeping my gaze foreward, hazel eyes narrowed.

"How much time left?" I asked him, voice raw against my burning throat. I felt like total shit, every muscle in my body aching from exhaustion and over-exertion. They cried out for sleep, demanded rest, but it was nothing to the pain that swelled in my heart and chest.

"About 45 minutes." He answered and I nodded curtly, stalking off at a stiff, ragid pass. My right thigh muscles burned in protest, a stun spell having hit me while I still in animagus form. A skaler falcon with honey-colored feathers and menacing ebony eyes. I'd been flying over Bill's ground troops when one of those bloody Death Eaters nailed me with a misaimed curse. Git. I reached the huddle of familiar red-heads, taking note of the still one on the cold cobble-stoned floor.

_Fred_.

Eyes fixed on his stomach, I crouched down at his feet, ass just above the ground and knees bumping his dirty Chuck Taylor's. I wrapped my arms around my legs, attempting to hide the shaking that had over-taken my body. I set my mouth into a firm frown to keep my lips from trembling with the threat of tears. I would not cry. Fred had hated it when I cried and I sure as hell wasn't going to do it in front of everyone. I felt a hand on my shoulder and glanced up quickly, catching Bill's gaze. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze as I turned my eyes back to Fred. At my side, I heard Mrs. Weasley weep, her every miserable wail like a stab to the heart. She was shaking more than I, her pale hands gripping Fred's dirty jacket. My shoulder went cold after loosing the warmth of Bill's hand, the man having turned to embrace Fleur. **Cold**. That's all I felt right now. Cold and hurt. I bit my bottom lip to force back the tears, accidentally peircing the soft flesh. The coppery taste of blood filled my mouth as I sucked on my lip, attempting half-heartidly to stop it. The warm liquid assured me that I was, indeed, alive, despite my deepest wish not to be.

"Gwenie." My head snapped up, my mind momentarily registering the voice as Fred's, as hazel eyes met chocolate ones. George. He nodded with his head, motioing the emtpy place across from him. I hesistated, afraid of being that close, before crawling up there on all fours, coming to rest across from him. He reached across Fred's body and embraced me tightly. I gratefully hugged him back, the warmth of his body fighting away the chills that racked my own. When we finally parted, I assumed an indian-style sitting position, making it a point _not_ to look at Fred's colorless face. The dull throbbing of my head and leg seemed quite bearable now, almost like pleasure compared to what I felt in my heart.

_Empty_

It was an almost unbearable feeling, this pang of lonliness that stabbed at my weary heart. A feeling that I'd lost the person closest to me. The feeling that the person who'd known more about me than even I was gone forever. The feeling that the one person, the one boy man, that had seen me at me weakest, most vulnerable moments, the one who'd known every secret of my life, soul and body, was dead. It was almost impossible to swallow, but the fact that his body lay inches from my feet made also made it impossible to deny. I could no longer hear Mrs. Weasley cry beside me, but I saw her body still shake with silent sobs. I felt, as I was sure everyone does when someone they love is lost: responsible. If I'd went with him instead, backing him up from the sky...If I'd flown faster, made it in time to warn him of the explosion...If I'd just **been there, damn it**! Tears stung my eyes and I felt them prick at my eyelashes. I sucked in a huge gulp of hair, forcing them back down which resulted in a violent case of coughing/hiccups. As I regained my composure, I found that everyone's eyes had turned to me. I turned a dark shade of crimson and focused my eyes on Fred's face, despite my previous determination not to look. He looked so different. His face pale and guant, eyes slightly sunken. His once flaming ginger hair now hung limply to the side, a dull and dark orange. I noticed, with some confusion, that his lips stil held the slightest bit of rosey color, parted just slightly. Without a second thought, I pressed my trembling lips to his, a shiver running down my spine causing my entire body to twich. I felt his thin lips grow cold as ice and slowly pulled away, hovering just inches above him. The color was gone, replaced with a tasteless peachish-grey.

"Gwen." Someone whispered, but I had no idea who. I wrapped my arms around myself and fell foreward, forehead laying parallel on Fred's, sobs racking my body. I could hold it in no longer. Everything spilled out. **Grief**. _Anger_. Hurt. **Emptyness**. My cries turned into screams, my voice cracking several times as I forced to hit pitches never previously imagined. People turned there heads, attention taken from their own loses to the agony-stricken shrieks that filled the Great Hall. All the better, I wanted them to know. Wanted to them hear the heart-wrenching turmoil that whelled in my chest. I wanted them to know about the emotional breakdown I feared I was slipping into. I wanted them to _feel_ my loss and have their owns hearts shatter in their breasts. "Gwen." I was being held now, by who's arms I knew not, too wrapped up in my grief to even care. With a high-pitched scream, I tore away from them, holding tigher to Fred's body and buring my face in the crook of his neck, the skin like ice on my cheeks.

"_Don't touch me_!" My shriek was slightly muffled, due to my face being pressed against Fred's neck. Instead of retreating, the arms wrapped tigher around me, a voice hushing me with gentle whispers.

"Shh, Gwen, it's alright. It's alright. Shh, come on now, let go." With a slight jolt, I realised it was George, a kinda of softness laced with his words that I'd never heard before. There was no silent laughter, no hidden trickery or mischeif, only his deep baratone voice that sounded so much like Fred's, yet so shockingly different. A gentle voice filled with the same grief and sorrow I felt. I voice laced with unmistakable suffering, compassion and unshed tears. A voice that only wished to comfort. A wave of embarrassed shame washed over me and I relinquished my grip on Fred's body, allowng George to pull me closer to him. He stroke my head, mumbling inaudiable words that were meant to comfort. I cried into his shoulder, gripping the back of his shirt until my knuckles turned the same ghostly white as Fred's once bright face. After what seemed like forever, I sucked in one last giant breath and raised my head to peer over George's shoulder. Harry had gone. No doubt to confront Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest. All for the best, I reckoned, not particularly wanted to see the green-eyed boy at the moment. I would, I knew, undoubtedly shout regretable things at him, things meant to blame, hurt and ultimatly tear the poor lad apart. I wanted no part in that, so I took to surveying the Great Hall. My eyes passed from tear-stained face to tear-stained face, finally taking in the vast amount of heartache that filled the Hogwarts' hall. When I caught the gaze of Dennis Creevy, the poor boys eyes swimming with tears, I quickly spun around, back now against Geroge's chest. Without a word, I made the movement to sit at Fred's side. Geroge made no objection and released me without a word. I reassumed an indian-style position and put his head in my lap, taking to stroking his still untamable hair. Even in it's dulled state, it fell like always through my trembling fingers, like silk on my skin. I wept silently now, the sounds of the Great Hall slowly fading from around me. As I stroked his ginger locks, my mind seemed to detach from my body, leaving the sorrow and chaos of Hogwarts behind it. It was just Fred and I, surrounded by a soft flickering white light.

_"I love you." I whispered to him, momentarily forgetting that my words fell on dead ears.  
_

_"The feeling's mutual, Gwenie, though a bit more expressive on your side of the table." A voice spoke from ahead of me, full of life and laughter. Slowly, not trusting my ears alone, I raised my head, breath catching in my throat as I spotted him. Tall and as handsome as ever, dressed in clothes similar to those he always wore. A simple, yet usually odd colored, t-shirt, faded jeans and Chuck Taylor's. He stood there looking quite thrilled and __**very much alive**__. His wild ginger hair fell into his face, burning like fire light in the white world around us.  
_

_"F-Fred." I murmered, still not trusting my own eyes. Surely, I was delusional. Surely, I was losing whatever was left of my mind. I looked down at the motionless body that lay before me, then back to it's identical twin. "You can't be...if you're here and there...are you really...I've slipped into semi-consciousness and am now having a seriously wacked out hallucination, aren't I?" I asked him, face a mask of seriouness. He nodded, a smile playing in his rosey lips.  
_

_"Pretty much, well said Gwenie. Not very good with decoration, are you?" He mused, looking around while shoving his hands in his pockets. I followed every turn of his head with my eyes, never wanting to forget anything. The way his hair moved when he twisted around. The way the muscles in his neck moved in a perfect synchronized rythmn. The way the light danced on his face and in his laughter-filled chocolate eyes. I wanted this image imprinted in my mind forever, never to be lost. "Unfortunatly, you were never one to stay unconscious long, I blame your mother. You'll be waking in about, hm, 2 minutes." He stated and I gaped, mouth flopping open and shut like a fish.  
_

_"Wha...2 minutes?" I asked incrediously. That was all I was gonna get?! No, I needed more time! More time to tell him all I needed to say. Time to hold him in my arms and memorize the way his body rested against mine. Time to memorize everything: his scent, his touch, his taste. I didn't want to miss anything. "That's all?"  
_

_"Hey, don't blame me!" He shouted, holding up his arms in a kind of mock surrender. His features softened as he walked to where I sat, holding his body. He crouched down in front of me and put both his hands the side of my face, brushing the strands of honey hair from my cheeks. "Don't cry." He whispered, clearing the tears with his thumb. "You know I hate it when you do that." He continued whiping away the tears as he spoke, wanting more then anything to keep the from falling. I sniffed and nodded, holding them back as I spoke.  
_

_"I want more time." I murmered, closing my eyes and pressing my cheek into his palm, taking the way every nerve in my body tingled at his touch. Fred put his forehead to mine and smiled, calm and sad.  
_

_"Me too, Gweinie." He said, closing the gap between our lips. I immediatly granted him the access he wanted, tongue fighting for dominace over his. In the end, he won, over powering me easily. There was no break for air, both of us sustaining the kiss as long as we could. My hands hungrily roamed his body, memorizing everything about it. Every curve, crook and cranny. Everything. Finally, I could no longer breath and my lungs were screaming for air. I broke away, but we stayed only centimeters away, lips still touching. I felt his warm breath on my lips as he greadily sucked in air, body shaking almost unnoticeably. Slowly, slowly his hand ran down the front of my body, stopping to rest on my stomach. His eyes wondered back up to mine, silently telling me everything I needed to know. My hands slipped over his as our lips met again and I poured everything I had into it: anger, lust, desire, need, passion, love. I left nothing behind, nothing hidden because this time I knew when we broke apart, it would be for the last time. "I love you Gwenie." He murmered against my lips, kissing me roughly and heatidly one more time before everything slipped into darkness, the Great Hall slowly coming back into focus..._

"Come on, Gwen! Move!" A voice shouted, pulling me roughly away from where I sat. I slid unceremoniously on my ass across the floor as the person dragged me by the arm before coming to an abrupt halt a few moments later. I fell limp at their side, leaning against their leg. I looked up to, again, see George, staring out to where I'd sat moment before. A bald man stood out there, features unmistakably snake-like, a triumphant gleam in his slited eyes. He was shouted about something, carrying on about I didn't care what. My hand still lay across my stomach, where Fred's had been only seconds ealier. I thought I felt a tiny kick, but realized it was much to early for that. I thought back, lost to whatever was happening around me, to when it could have been. We barely had enough time for a quick snog-session, let alone sex. But as I thought harder, it dawned on me. We had! Nearly a month before, hiding out in one of Lee's relative's houses after our broadcast of Potterwatch.

_"Well, one of our better broadcast if I do say so myself." Fred sighed contently to himself, falling into the empty couch and propping his legs up on the table. Lee plopped down at the other end, taking a long swig from a Butterbear. I simply fell to the floor, spread out my arms and legs in a kind of sprawled eagle fashion.  
_

_"I must agree. That one was quite successful." The mocha skinned boy agreed, grinning and waving his wand to provide all of us with drinks. We toasted and downed what was left, Fred belching loudly as he fnished.  
_

_"That was gross." I commented, lip curling in disgust as I set the empty bottle aside to remove my worn out shoes. Fred only laughed whole-heartidly, falling deeper back into the couch, a wide grin on his face.  
_

_"One of my better ones, Gwenie." He replied and I rolled my eyes, tossing my shoes away and letting out a deep sigh. It felt good to just lay here, unmoving and undistubed. I felt like I hadn't done this for years, what with all the running (or flying rather) I had to do for the Order and such. Honestly, just because I have wings, in animagus form of course, doesn't mean I have to be the one to do everything!  
_

_"Speaking of Gwenie..." Lee started and I focused my attention back on him, brown knitted in confusion. "You almost blew our cover today, Weasley! Almost said her name!" The faintest touch of pink covered Fred's cheeks and nose as he crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest, turning away.  
_

_"I caught myself, didn't I?"  
_

_"Barely! You had the __**Gwe-**__!" Lee accused and Fred snorted stubbornly, rolling his eyes. I sat up, grinning at the bickering boys.  
_

_"But not the __**-Nie**__! No one even noticed, I suspect!" My grin widened as I watched, a familiar kind of serenity falling over me. This was so much like older times at Hogwarts. It was quite nostalgic, really. They bickered on for quite sometime before it seemed it would turn into a full out fist fight!  
_

_"Come on then, Weasley! Stop flipping you're hair and get over here!"  
_

_"Oi, insult the hair again and you'll wake up short one left-"  
_

_"I learned a new dance!" I shouted suddenly, cutting off Fred from fnishing his threat. Both heads snapped to me as I grinned innocently and waved my wand once, changing my outfit. I know wore a ankle-length skirt that a deep brown in color. Beads of all shades of warm colors were sewn into the chocolate fabric and __**swished**__ as I moved. A burnt orangeish-red top wrapped around my breast, strapless and skin-tight. Silver bangles hung from my wrists, clanging against one another. I wore beads around my neck and ankles, that latter sets grazing my bare feet. Fred's mouth fell open and I laughed. "It's Turkish!" I said, waving my wand again. The music started up and I moved with it in perfect rythmn, the sway of my hips identical to the beat. As song spead up, so did my movements, my body lost to the song.  
_

_"I love Turkish." Lee muttered, mouth hanging slightly agape. Fred nodded.  
_

_"Me too." He blinked twice, as if realizing something, before slapping his hand over Lee's eyes. "Don't look!" The latter cocked a curious eyebrow and wreastled Fred's hand away from his face. After one glance at the ginger-haired boy, he grinned in realization, rising from the couch.  
_

_"Well, long day, eh mates? I think I'll retire to my quaters now. There's a spare room just down that hall, if you two feel you've a certain use for it." Lee grinned, winking at Fred, who turned a slight rosey pink. The mocha-skinned boy laughed and walked away, still nursing a half empty Butterbear. I finished my dance, coming to a sudden halt, catching Fred's gaze. His gleaming chocolate eyes roamed me up and down before he sprinted forward and scooped me up bridal style, lips hungrily claiming mine.  
_

_"Gwenie, I was thinking that we could find the __**perfect**__ use for that room. What say you?" I merely laughed, nibbling at the warm skin on his neck as he kicked the door shut behind us_.  
The next, let's say, twenty minutes passed in little more than a blur. Harry had, as I was later told, risen from the dead and stared down Voldemort, beating him with both words and skills. It was the moment we'd all been waiting for, all been fighting for, all been hoping for. It was the moment so many, including the limp ginger-head in my arms, had died for.  
Harry had won.

Some Time Later...

It's been a little more than a week since then, the days passing by at an alarming pace. It was hard to believe that Fred had been dead for almost 9 days. Merlins' Beard, where'd the time go? Today was his funeral and it was to be held at the Burrow, as he would have wanted. Everyone was outside, setting things up before the guests arrived. The expected turnout was to be larger then expected. Turns out Fred was more popular than I'd orginally thought. I watched them from his window, hand on the cool, foggy glass. I wore the simplest black dress I could find, buying it a size larger to hide my slightly protruding stomach. It was hardly noticeable, but I didn't want to take any chances. Mrs. Weasley's birthday wasn't for another month and half, so I had awhile to go before I could share the news. When we'd found out, we had decided we would keep the pregnancy a secret until her birthday, then suprise her. Fred had had it all planned out. I sighed heavily and retreated back into the room he'd shared with George, taking it in with careful eyes. Since the Great Battle, I'd taken over Fred's bed, comforted by his scent that lingered on the pillow. I usually ended up crying at night, which made having George close nearby a great comfort. I sat on the bed, my feet already aching from the high-heels Hermione had suggested I wear. As I surveyed the room, I noticed something I'd missed before. The tattered corner of a peice of parchment stuck out from under the dresser across from me. My eyes narrowed in confusion and I walked over to pull it out. I bent down to my knees, which cracked in protest and gave it a small tug. It didn't budge. Eyebrows knitted in confusion, I tugged again, the parchment still not budging. _What the hell_? I shoved my hand under the dresser and gave a small smile of satisfaction as my fingers coiled around the object that kept the parchment from moving. I pulled it out and examined it carefully. It was a little black box, no bigger than a few inches on each side, and made of soft velvet that had collected tiny particals of dust. I blew them away before opening it. The breath caught in my throat, eyes brimming with salty tears. It was a ring! Made of white-gold, the band sparkled in the light, what looked to be raindrops glistening on it's smooth surface. Upon further inspection, I realized that it was just the _illusion_ of rain that was meant, the tiny droplets magically enchanted. In the center sat a dazzling ruby, the same color as a newly blossomed rose. A tear slid down my cheek and hit the jewel, fireworking on it's surface. It was incredibly **beautiful**. Placing it carefully aside, I picked up the parchment and opened it slowly, Fred's sloppy handwriting coming into view.

Dear Gwenie,  
It is I, your darling Fred Weasley, speaking to you from beyond the grave in this hastily written letter of suprising romance. I'm only throwing out ideas here, but I reckon I'm dead, ain't I? Of course I am! Or you wouldn't be reading this because I'd be giving you that ring in person and burning this horribly cheesy letter. It's almost embarrassing the words that follow, they're definatly something I never thought would come from _my_ mind! They did, of course, and this letter is under no circumstance copy-right! Except for the line in the next paragraph I stole from Ginny, but who gives a rat's ass anyway? Not I! Eh hem, moving on, I'm going go straight to the point (something I should have done about three lines ago!) so you can get going to my funeral, which is laveshly furnished, I'm sure.  
Gwenie, there are hundreds of things I need to say and I regret not being able to tell you in person because the words would have such greater impact, atleast that what's Ginny always said. Women. But, back to the point.  
Gwen, you've touched me like none other ever has before. You've seen my secrets, my desires and my soul. You'd completely overtaken me, Gwen. I never wished to leave you, but Fate plays a jealous bitch sometimes. You were more to me than I ever had the courage to say. You put up with my pranks and my constant testing them on you and for that I am most greatful. Gwen, I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful women to love and I find myself at a lose as to how I even ended up with you. You're more beautiful than you give yourself credit and someday, many years from now after you've lived a long and happy life, I hope we can be together again. I'll always be waiting for you Gwenie and I would be most honored if you'd wear the ring I so many times wished to give to you. It wasn't cheep ya know, so show it off proudly, would you? Thanks, my Gwenie.  
It is now with a heavy heart and tearing eyes that I end this rambling montage, hoping you eventually find this letter where I have so cleverly hidden it. In every word his hidden my deepest affections and emotions, all of which belong to you, but you should already know that. I think I've said all I've needed to say, so this is where I believe I say goodbye. So, goodbye to you Gwendolyn Rosette, may we meet again in blissful harmony.  
Signed Sincerely,  
Fred Weasley  
P.S. Name our son after me would ya?

I sniffed back my tears, gripping the wrinkling parchment between my trembling fingers. How long had this been here and I'd never noticed? When did he write it? These questions and more plagued my mind, swimming with my already confused thoughts. _Oh Fred..._ I thought, spotting the tiny paragraph of elegant script written below his letter.

Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste. It all revolves around you.  
And there's no mountain too high, no river to wide.  
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side.  
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide,  
But I'll love until the end of time.

Had Fred wrote that? I had no idea and wanted to think no further of it. The meaning of the words was clear and to me it mattered not where they came from. They were there, sweet and comforting. Memories flooded back, breaking the dam that held my tears behind my lashes. The crystal droplets fireworked on the parchment, leaving tiny water stains in their place. Snapping my thoughts, I realized Mrs. Weasley was yelling for me, telling me we were about to start. I picked up the ring and it's box and stood, shaking out the wrinkles in my dress. I put the velvet box inside my keepsake box and slipped the white-gold ring onto my finger, holding it to admire it. Smiling sadly, I folded the letter and placed it under the velvet box, snapping shut the keepsake lock. I checked my hair then descended the stairs, everything I passed holding some memory of Fred and I, no matter how small. It was all I could do to keep the tears from spilling, but I forced them back as I entered the back yard, immediatly embraced by George.

"You alright?" He asked, grinning ever so slightly down at me. I nodded, returning a small smile.

"Yeah, thanks George." He patted my shoulder a few times then wondered off again. Many more of Fred's relatives hugged me, even those I didn't know, but who seemed to know me. I figured that was Mrs. Weasley's doing. After a moment of hugs, kisses and "deepest sympathies" we took our seat, mine between George and Ron. Ron patted my knee, a small sad smile on his lips. I pulled him into a side-way hug, squeezing my eyes shut. We broke apart and he wrapped his arm around Hermione, who sat weeping quietly next to him. Throughout the funeral, I held tightly to George's hand, staring fixidly at the wizard who stood on the raised pedastool up front. Behind him was Fred's casket, made of rich cherry wood with his intiales carved into the top, resting on four white miniature columns. Various potted flowers were sitting around it, everyone in full bloom. It was beautiful, it really was, but what caught my eye were the thee pictures that hung from the side of casket. The first of Fred as a toddler, wearing only a diaper and his mother's witch's hat. He was grinning, a wide toothless grin and waving his hands madly. The second was of all of the Weasley children. Ginny stood innocently in the middle, smiling up at the camera, while behind her the brother's looked less than ready for the picture. Bill was shouting something, his hair wild and dishievaled, arms flung up in the air while stalking in and out of the photo. Charlie had Percy in a headlock, the latter's glasses hanging crookidly off his nose as he struggled against his older brother. Fred and George stood in either side of Ron, one finger each hooked on the inside of Ron's mouth, spreading his lips into a wide smile. Ron was waving his arms wildly, wiggling around like a chicken with no head. And the final one, the one I focused one, was of me and Fred and the only one that didn't move. It had been taken by my muggle camera. While I had insisted that Mrs. Weasley use on of just the twins, she (and George) stated that Fred would have wanted that picture up there. I still objected, until she stated that in that picture was a side of Fred rarely seen. I'd cracked eventually and let her have the photo. We stood centered in the picture, a background of ancient buildings and flowering Dogwoods behind us. Fred had snuck up behind me and wrapped his arm tightly around my torso, swaying back and forth. Hermione requested the photo, so we stopped moving and posed for her. I put my arms over his, leaning back into his chest. He put his chin on the top of my head and we both smile brightly. It was a day I'd never forget.

"...requested that Gwendolyn speak." I caught the last end of the old wizard's sentance and started shaking my head. I couldn't. "Gwendolyn, if you'll come foreward." I was about to protest, when I felt the ring spin on my finger. I stood and slowly approached him, stepping up on the podium. He hugged me, patting my back, before walking off stage, leaving in front of teary-eyed Weasley's. I felt my heart rate quicken and my mouth went dry. I started twirling the ring on my finger, feeling the nervousness slowly melt away.

"Um, first I want to thank everyone for coming, it means alot to me, as I'm sure it does to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley." Many people nodded and I took a second to smile softly at them. "I've never done this before, so I'll have to wing up, but I'm usually pretty good at that. Ask McGonnagall." I saw the five people in the front row crack a grin, nodding knowingly. "It's a terrible thing, when you lose someone who means so much to you. You feel devistated, empty, hurt and even responsible. I know from experience that it take times and alot of tears to ease the pain, but that doesn't make it any easier. Practice isn't something that dulls the pain of lose. You may think to yourself 'Oh, I've lost plenty of people in my life, I can handle this', but the truth is, you're never ready. Never ready to let them go or to say goodbye. There's nothing you can to to prepare yourself for the pain and it always hits you like a hundred pound muggle truck. As I said, I've lost people before and it hurt, it was the worse feeling the world. But-" I paused, taking a few shaky deep breaths and wiping my eyes on the back of my hand. "But losing Fred is a thousands times worse. Before, I could accept that they were gone, even though it wasn't easy, but even as I stand here right now, I can't believe, can't accept, that he's gone. It seems immpossible, like some kind twisted joke. Everytime I turn my head, everytime I walk outside, everytime I turn a corner, I expect him to be there. To be waiting for me with that crooked, goofy grin on his face. But, he never is. And everytime, it's like I'm feeling him die all over again." Tears were now streaming down my face, blurring my vision. My eyes burned and my throat had went tight, making it hard to breath. I took a few minutes to clam my sobs, closing my eyes. Fred's face was instantly there, smiling at me.

"Gwen, you don't have to keep-" Mrs. Weasley started, but I shook my head, letting her know I could keep going. I took a deep breath and continued.

"You all kind of took me by supirse, asking me to come up here, but now that I think about, I don't think that matters. Even if I'd known before, had been given time to prepare, I don't think I could've written anything. Because, I know no matter what I'd tried to right, nothing would've been right. It would've been too cheesy, or too sappy. Or even biased. I can't stand up here and tell you what Fred was like because that was different to everyone. What he was to me, isn't the same as what he meant to you. Any of you. He was a son, a brother, a twin, a best mate, a trouble-maker, a buisness man, and to me, a lover. I can tell what he meant to me, but that wouldn't do it justice, because despite the hardest attempts, Fred Weasley can't be put into words. There simply aren't adequate one's to describe everything that he was. He was simply and amazingly...Fred." I stopped again, chewing on my bottom. What I was about to do wasn't normaly something that went down at funerals. "Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?"

"Yes, Gwen dear?" I cleared my throat and thought this over one more. No turning back.

"You've done so much for me and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You were more to me than my own parents and always treated me as one of your own. You never cared about my past, my parentage or my previous flaws and mistakes. You only saw in me what I had the potential to be and I know I woudn't be everything I am without you're care and support. I know there's nothing I could ever do to repay you or to show you how much I appreciate everything. All I can tell you is that, not all of Fred is gone." The older couple stared at me with shocked, but curious expressions. Finally, Aruthur motioned for me to continue.

'G-go on, Gwen. What do you mean?"

"Yes, his life is gone and he'll never be here with us again, but-" I pasued, choosing my words carefully. "But, there's a part of him, here with us! Breathing, hearing, listening, living! A part of him that's going to grow and learn and undoubtedly turn out just like him!" I answered, claming myself back down. "What I mean is, I'm pregnant." It all happened at once. Everyone of the immediate Weasley family, plus Harry and Hermione, were gathered around me in a second, Mrs. Weasley hugging me rather tightly. I laughed lightly and pulled away from her and into Mr. Weasley's arms.

"Blimey, when did you two have time to do _that_?" Ron asked incrediously, cocking a slender eyebrow at me. I chuckled airily.

"It doesn't take long, Ron. Only about an hour." I answered and he blushed a dark crimson, seemingly having enough of the conversation. The rest of the funeral continued withouth anymore suprises (aisde from the fireworks that exploded on of the plants) and everyone soon shuffled back to their homes after hugging everyone else again. It was dark now, the half-moon shining brightly overhead. The others had all when inside, getting ready for bed, while I still stood in my dress in front of Fred's coffin. We were going to put it in the ground tomorrow. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, feeling the weight of the responsibilty that was growing inside. "I told them abit early. It just seemed like the perfect moment and I'm sure we're the first to announce a pregnancy at a funeral!" I joked, staring at picture of him and I. Though it didn't make it any easier, I'd accepted his death, allowing myself to come to terms with it. But, I had his family, _my_ family and I knew I wasn't alone. With one last smile, I turned an headed back to the house, the light in the twin's room still glowing. As I walked across the empty yard, feeling an odd sense of peace wash over my tired body, the final words of Fred's letter drifted across my mind.

_Come what may, come what may.  
I will love you until my dying day_.


End file.
